resting means trusting

Several weeks after delivering the twins, Kevin and I wanted to take our older boys for an outing to remind them how special they are to us, even though the new babies dominated most of our time.

We got some frozen yogurt. Both the boys ate up every last bite of their specially mixed treat.

Then, we went to a park close to our house. The boys were pretty sure they heard some construction in the distance, so Dad, Davis, and Ronin took off on an adventure, and I made myself comfortable in a swing.

As I sat, I watched them run, laugh, yell, and enjoy their time together. I hadn't noticed even a hint of wind while we were outside, but I noticed I was gently swaying in the swing.

The presence of God was so evident to me in that moment: when we are at rest in Him, we will easily be moved by Him, but we have to trust He will hold us. The resting in Him is not with anxiety, but with abandon.

never, never, never

As a disclaimer, let me say I am a fan of PBS Kids. Solid programming for my children who are six and three. However, we watched an episode of "Super Why" on Saturday that I am regretting more and more each day.

There was a prince who had a seriously bad attitude and any time he was prompted or encouraged to try something, he would respond with, "I'll never be able to do it, never, never, never!"

Davis has used the word "never" more in the last three days than he has the last three years. I prefer the saying, "Never say never," over the pouty prince's never, never, never chant. The goal of the story in the cartoon was to prove the prince needed to be positive, but in actuality it encouraged the opposite because of the repetition of the negativity.

It had to happen sooner than later, so tonight we had a nice talk about ways that are appropriate to use the word "never." I asked the boys to give me examples, the negativity continued; Davis gave me this one: "I will never fly." It took some hard thinking, but we finally came up with some positive ways to use "never" and my favorite was this: God never changes.

cutest kids ever

So, I know I'm biased, but goodness, look at them in their five-month-wonderful-ness. I cannot believe it has been five months since this crazy journey began. I have to take deep breaths to contain the intense gratitude I feel nearly every time I look at them.

Evan is on the left, and Eli is on right

quotables

One from Davis:

"Mommy, I think I like playing with the babies better than I like my toys."

Two from Ronin:

After singing a song to him at bedtime, "Mommy, I like you. You're the best singer ever!"

Kevin asked Ronin, "Is Mommy strong?"

Ronin, "No."

Kevin, "Is Daddy strong?"

Ronin responded emphatically, "Yeah, like Superman!"

snowed in

It is quite a change living in Oklahoma after Colorado when weather like today happens. It is around 9 degrees here in Oklahoma City and I know for a fact that in Colorado Springs it is -10. I chuckle to myself that the governor had to declare a state of emergency in order for the roads to be taken care of in advance for the ice and snow that was headed our way yesterday.

I got the call around 7pm that Davis's school was going to be cancelled today, so we have been enjoying a day stuck inside. At 9 the boys were begging to go play in the snow, but the wind would have knocked them down. I knew if I did not let them out at all, they would be sad little boys all day long. So, I decided to let them make a small trek outside to scoop up bowls of snow to bring inside and make snow ice cream.

Ronin doesn't have any snow boots, so we had to put Wal-Mart sacks around his cowboy boots, I think the look is priceless.

Here they are admiring their snow.

cowboys and cannibals

What do cowboys and cannibals have to do with each other you ask? Nothing really, except it seems that's what my boys are. I've included a picture where Eli is not trying to eat Evan's head, just so you know they do actually love each other.

Here they are, loving each other. Eli is showing off his chubbiness, and Evan his almost steady contentedness.
And then, my cowboys. I have full-length pictures of both of them, boots, buckles, and all, but I couldn't resist posting this one with Ronin's face and Davis's smile.
Gotta love the giant pacifier and Eli eating his brother's head.

I love your love

Ronin is adjusting to the new babies in stride, he loves them and shows this by nuzzling them, almost like a puppy would. I called him my "middle son" for the first time not too long ago, which was a big eye-opener for me--we have a middle son now. It has been "our youngest and our oldest" for three years now, so this is quite a change.

It has been my hope that Ronin would not feel slighted or un-loved or un-appreciated. There are so many horrible things said about the middle child; as a result I have felt compelled to be intentional about giving him quality time and affection.

Occasionally I will say to him, "Know what?"

He says, "Uh-huh."

"What?"

"You love me."

But today, I asked, "Guess what, Ronin?" And he applauded and with excitement said, almost shouted, "You LOVE me!"

Too often I feel like the middle child to God, and only because of myself, because He is constantly showering me with affection and lavishing me with love. I hope I can continue to learn from my children, to love His love with the kind of excitement that Ronin displays in knowing that I love him.