It's Not Easy Being Green

A friend on Facebook said to me a few weeks ago, "You make being a mom seem so easy. What is your secret?"  I replied to her, but the question just keeps eating at me.

First of all, because there are no real secrets.  Sure, there are things I do and don't do differently, but I don't have an MLM going with an inner circle that receives my strategies and tips in a weekly email. Secondly, I know a lot of moms, and it seems very typical of these mothers to question themselves, or second guess their methods, even if they aren't posting it on Facebook.

I typically just tell my story, because I'm pretty overwhelmed and fascinated at the beautiful threads the God of the Universe is weaving. He has graciously written me into His magnificent story, and I do not want to forget that, ever, so, I tell my stories; but like I said, this question just keeps itching a certain spot on my heart.

So I started thinking practically about how I mother.  Much of how I mother comes from how I was mothered (bless my mother's soul, I owe so much to her), but there is also so much (heavy sigh, so much) that is different in the world while I am embarking on this same journey.  I wondered if I could possibly offer any valuable insight or information to other mothers.  Because, let's be honest there's a bajillion mom-blogs out there and you probably don't need another one of those to read.

As I would say to my friend Jina, high five for new experiences; if none of this helps you, find a different mom blog, but if it does, praise Jesus.

look ahead of you, not beside you
Facebook can be a good thing, but it is a thorn in every mother's side.  Why?  Because you are constantly comparing yourself to every other mother in your news feed.  We have to get our faces away from the screens in our lives and onto the children at our feet. God gave you the child(ren) you have, He has entrusted them to you, so trust Him.  He gives better feedback, and no amount of likes will ever compare to how much He loves you.

laugh
I'll be really honest, this one is hard.  Laughing is critical, though.  The reality is you have very little control of what happens during your day, what you do have control of, is how you respond.  Will you let the little inconsistencies drive you crazy, or let the constant mess get under your skin, or let the disobedience determine your self-worth?  Your children are (wait for it.....) children.  And they are supposed to be exactly that.  If the day becomes too much of an endurance race, I find dance parties are really helpful.

be loved
If you feel that it is difficult to love your kid(s), I'd be willing to bet, you feel unloved.  The God of the Universe really did send His only Son to the earth in the form of a baby boy to live a perfect life and die the worst death, then live again so that you and I can have life....because He loves us. He gets so much glory when you will be filled up with His love so you can love your little ones.

and lean....
You are not alone, and you cannot do this mothering thing alone.  You need Jesus (I need Jesus).  The crazy amazing thing is that He will be enough for you every. single. time.  Failure is inevitable, but it does not define you.  When you do something wrong, say I'm sorry.  Jesus never said life would be easy, what He said was, "I will be with you."

Often, when I read the Old Testament, I am awestruck at how quickly God's people forget what He did for them.  But, I find this true of myself far too often, which is why in Psalm 77, David even tells himself, "I will remember the deeds of the Lord...and therefore I will have hope."  So when you wake up to the sound of a baby crying or a toddler whining or a child begging for breakfast, remember what the Lord has done.  

it works for me (a Father's Day post)

"For Jesus has been counted worthy of more glory than Moses--as much more glory as the builder of a house has more honor than the house itself.  (For every house is built by someone, but the builder of all things is God.) Now Moses was faithful in all God's house as a servant to testify to the things that were to be spoken later, but Christ is faithful over God's house as a son.  And we are his house if indeed we hold fast our confidence and our boasting in our hope." Hebrews 3:3-6

For many, perhaps most, God as Father is not a pleasant parallel, and because of this much of the Bible is difficult to grasp.  Through the work of Jesus on the cross, we are made God's children, and God is a Father unlike any other.

Many of us think that Christian service is motivated by obligation, and this might have been true for Moses, but for Jesus it was love, because God is a good and perfect Father.  

When I read these verses, they were illuminated with the truth and beauty of God's love and how it motivates us to service and faithfulness.  The analogy, the parallel, of God as Father works for me because my dad loves Jesus and has for as long as I can remember. 

Thank you, Father of all fathers, God who loves His children deeply, for Your graciousness in giving me a dad who loves You. 

 

a Mother's Day post

I have now been a mother for almost five years.  In those five years I have learned a lot simply by practice.  However, I probably learned most how to be a mother from my own, during the eighteen years I was home.  Here are a few:

1.  It's better to be a parent than a friend.

2.  Rules create responsibility and responsibility produces maturity.

3.  Each child is different and necessitates different discipline.

4.  It is important that a mother love father more than her children.

5.  And that she love Jesus more than him.

6.  Let your children take risks, but be close by.

7.  One of the goals of parenting is to inspire independence.

8.  Truly, there is no greater joy than to see your children walk in Truth.

9.  Teach your children the Bible more than you teach them numbers or the alphabet.

10. It is good to laugh and not take yourself too seriously.

11.  Always respect and honor your husband, it has an effect on children-lifelong.

12. Love your children and value them for their uniqueness.

13. Share in your children's excitement, and sympathize in their sadness.

14. Listen.  And they will return the favor.

15. It is an absolute joy to be a mother.

I could probably go on and on.  Thank you, Momma, for teaching me how to be a mother without even knowing.  You have made me a better mom.

disappointing diapers

I am a fan of Target diapers.  They come in a pack of 80 for just $13.99.  They work better than Pampers (in my opinion) and are a much better deal.

That is until yesterday.  I went to Target for the usual pick-up of the jumbo box only to find they were no longer there.  Instead I found this box:

I'm going to assume the "up & up" on the box is indicating the price, because there are now only 70 diapers in the box, but the price is still at $13.99.  If that wasn't enough, the design of the diaper is now a polka dot decoration that is the same front and back.  The old design was another perk of Target diapers (see Abraham's post) because you could easily tell the difference between front and back.  You may think this isn't a big deal, but on more than one occasion I picked up my boys with their diaper on backwards (courtesy of Grandpa).

lunch & a table full of four year olds

Yesterday the boys went to the "play place" (child care center) for a couple hours. I arrived to pick them up and they were all just sitting down for lunch. Davis is rarely a fan of any meal time so I didn't think there would be a problem leaving. He wanted to stay. It must have been some great lunch special, right? Nope, fish sticks, broccoli, canned plums, and rolls.

So, I pulled up a chair to the tiny table and had lunch with eight 3 and 4 year olds and one of the teachers. To my amazement I had a great time, and learned a few things too. Nothing profound, in fact, they were all really simple things. However, when you do this job called motherhood 24/7 sometimes you get caught up in behavior and forget about life, even for your four-year-old.

the things I learned:

• less scolding and more laughing
• if you're not eating, put your hands in your lap (brilliant!)
• you've gotta eat either a fruit or a vegetable
• no seconds until you've finished what you have
• talk positively about food
• treat mistakes as mistakes, not as grounds for discipline
  

Those are just a few. Thank you SW Childcare Center, and more specifically, Mister B for reminding me of the joys of meal time.

halloween season=frustrated grocery shopping

Today we went to the grocery store; it didn't help that we arrived close to lunch time and on the second day of the month. Long lines and candy everywhere. Little kids love candy, and somehow, no matter how it's packaged, they know exactly what it is even if they've never had a particular kind before. I'm amazed by this with Davis. There is a large display immediately when you walk in the door for Halloween and every possible space is filled with bags of candy. Every five seconds I hear, "Oooh, Mommy, I like this kind," or "Oooh, we should get this one." An answer for all these comments came to me in a moment of brilliance: "You have to go trick-or-treating to get that candy." And like magic, we were done with the candy conversation.

the ways I'm like my dad

No, my Dad is not a big fan of Thomas the Train. Today, this book came apart. We have had it since '06-ish. Davis fell in love with the book one day at Borders, I read it to him several times there, we bought it (it's only $3.25), and then I read it many more times to him through the course of the past couple years. Some would have said it was time to say goodbye to a book that falls apart, some would have given it away or maybe just put it away. Me? No, because tucked away inside me are traits of my father that you cannot see, like the habit of not giving things away, or throwing things away because you just know you can fix it. Such is the case with Thomas's ABC Book. When Davis realized that Ronin had torn it apart, he looked at me with such a sad face to deliver the news. I didn't even flinch, "No worries, Davis, we can fix that!" Out came the packing tape (the beauty of packing tape is that it's clear, so you can't always tell that something has been repaired) and I fixed it up. Thanks, Pops.

you know you're a mom when...

You go to a meeting and while taking notes, you catch a glimpse of a Chuck E. Cheese sticker on your shirt.

blenders and sponges

If you have ever been around a toddler you know that you only need to say something twice for them to soak it up and spit right back at you. You may have even heard a parent call their little one a sponge. This is true 100%! It's why it's so imperative during those language learning years that you're not spouting off words that don't sound appropriate coming out of children's mouths.

A recent discovery is that if toddlers are sponges, then kids are blenders. The sponge principle doesn't work anymore. Everything is definitely going in, loads of it, but if you push the right button at the right time, everything comes exploding out. This is what seems to be happening with Davis lately. He may hear new words: "appetizer" or "introduction" and he'll just toss them out randomly in the middle of a sentence where they don't even fit. It is entertaining to see him trying to make a smoothie out of his mess.

what's your secret?

Today we were on our way back home and Davis asked if we could go to Black Bear (a favorite coffee shop of ours here in the Springs). I told him I would think about it, when we pulled up, he gasped in excitement. We walked in and he told the lady he wanted a hot chocolate, a spontaneous change from his usual cold chocolate milk. I ordered us a blueberry scone to share, then we sat down at a table. After sitting for a few minutes, Davis asked if he could go tell the ladies thank you for his hot cocoa. He did; they were amazed, and thought he was the sweetest, most precious boy ever. I admit, I think he's pretty great too.

As we were leaving, he accidentally dropped his cocoa (it had a lid, but the landing was too harsh) and it spilled. Most kids, and even Davis on a bad day, would have started crying right then and there. But today Davis said, "Oh no!!" The owner said, "It's okay, we can clean it up and it just means we have to make you another extra special one!" And that's exactly what they did, and he thanked them again, specifically for making him another one. There was a man there and he looked at me and asked, "What's your secret?" I responded with only one word, but could've said more: "Consistency."

always learning

Here are a couple Davis stories:

It is quite amazing to me how much like sponges toddlers are--I'm seeing that I have to be more and more careful with what I say and do. Earlier this week Davis was talking to Spiderman on the phone (pretending, of course) having a real conversation; he was role playing quite well. For a few months now, he has declared his koala his baby sister, so after talking to Spiderman for a while, he asked Spiderman if he wanted to talk to his baby sister. He put the phone up to her ear properly and waited a solid thirty seconds while I assume Spiderman was "talking" to her. When he got back on the phone, he told Spiderman, "She didn't say anything, she's not a very good say-er."

~~~~~~~~

Just yesterday we were at Target with a friend looking at some clothes when a very overweight woman wearing legging-type pants passed us then walked in front of Davis and he says, "Mommy, her bottom looks weird." Forunately he wasn't insulting her, just making an observation, but all I could say was, "Sshh." Then I had to turn away because I was laughing so hard (even though I shouldn't have been). Thank goodness my friend was there, she quickly grabbed something for us to look at and we all talked about it to shift our attention.

beautiful outside, dreary inside

Today is the nicest day we've had in Colorado Springs in a long time, I went outside with a t-shirt and sandals and felt just fine! It made me feel great, and put a little hope inside my heart for the promise of Spring. However...

Last week, Ronin and I were both sick, I felt horrible for Davis because he really wanted someone to play with him and I just couldn't muster enough energy. Now, Davis is sick. I always know when he's sick: he just lays on the floor, wants me to hold him, and barely eats. While I feel terrible that there's not much I can do, it is one of those times where the simple fact that I am his mom and I'll hold him, makes him feel a little better.

excuse me, sir

Parenting is by far the most difficult and rewarding job I have ever had. It takes an incredible amount of consistency, and at the end of the day you hope you're doing a good job. Most of the time the evidence of your long hours come out in little tiny moments. This happened with Davis just a couple days ago...

I was at the mall on Tuesday with a friend and we were perusing the shoe section of a certain store. Davis was making me proud by looking around at the shoes (and not touching them) and trying out the chairs. We were ready to head to Chic-fil-A to get some lunch, so I asked to Davis to come with us and it was time to go, again, he immediately obeyed and headed our direction.

There was an elderly couple right in his path, he got close to them, slowed down, and said, "Excuse me sir" then passed by them. Both of them looked at him with this look on their faces that communicated, "Wow, have you ever seen such a polite little child!"

A tiny moment that I don't think I'll ever forget!