A friend on Facebook said to me a few weeks ago, "You make being a mom seem so easy. What is your secret?" I replied to her, but the question just keeps eating at me.
First of all, because there are no real secrets. Sure, there are things I do and don't do differently, but I don't have an MLM going with an inner circle that receives my strategies and tips in a weekly email. Secondly, I know a lot of moms, and it seems very typical of these mothers to question themselves, or second guess their methods, even if they aren't posting it on Facebook.
I typically just tell my story, because I'm pretty overwhelmed and fascinated at the beautiful threads the God of the Universe is weaving. He has graciously written me into His magnificent story, and I do not want to forget that, ever, so, I tell my stories; but like I said, this question just keeps itching a certain spot on my heart.
So I started thinking practically about how I mother. Much of how I mother comes from how I was mothered (bless my mother's soul, I owe so much to her), but there is also so much (heavy sigh, so much) that is different in the world while I am embarking on this same journey. I wondered if I could possibly offer any valuable insight or information to other mothers. Because, let's be honest there's a bajillion mom-blogs out there and you probably don't need another one of those to read.
As I would say to my friend Jina, high five for new experiences; if none of this helps you, find a different mom blog, but if it does, praise Jesus.
look ahead of you, not beside you
Facebook can be a good thing, but it is a thorn in every mother's side. Why? Because you are constantly comparing yourself to every other mother in your news feed. We have to get our faces away from the screens in our lives and onto the children at our feet. God gave you the child(ren) you have, He has entrusted them to you, so trust Him. He gives better feedback, and no amount of likes will ever compare to how much He loves you.
laugh
I'll be really honest, this one is hard. Laughing is critical, though. The reality is you have very little control of what happens during your day, what you do have control of, is how you respond. Will you let the little inconsistencies drive you crazy, or let the constant mess get under your skin, or let the disobedience determine your self-worth? Your children are (wait for it.....) children. And they are supposed to be exactly that. If the day becomes too much of an endurance race, I find dance parties are really helpful.
be loved
If you feel that it is difficult to love your kid(s), I'd be willing to bet, you feel unloved. The God of the Universe really did send His only Son to the earth in the form of a baby boy to live a perfect life and die the worst death, then live again so that you and I can have life....because He loves us. He gets so much glory when you will be filled up with His love so you can love your little ones.
and lean....
You are not alone, and you cannot do this mothering thing alone. You need Jesus (I need Jesus). The crazy amazing thing is that He will be enough for you every. single. time. Failure is inevitable, but it does not define you. When you do something wrong, say I'm sorry. Jesus never said life would be easy, what He said was, "I will be with you."
Often, when I read the Old Testament, I am awestruck at how quickly God's people forget what He did for them. But, I find this true of myself far too often, which is why in Psalm 77, David even tells himself, "I will remember the deeds of the Lord...and therefore I will have hope." So when you wake up to the sound of a baby crying or a toddler whining or a child begging for breakfast, remember what the Lord has done.
First of all, because there are no real secrets. Sure, there are things I do and don't do differently, but I don't have an MLM going with an inner circle that receives my strategies and tips in a weekly email. Secondly, I know a lot of moms, and it seems very typical of these mothers to question themselves, or second guess their methods, even if they aren't posting it on Facebook.
I typically just tell my story, because I'm pretty overwhelmed and fascinated at the beautiful threads the God of the Universe is weaving. He has graciously written me into His magnificent story, and I do not want to forget that, ever, so, I tell my stories; but like I said, this question just keeps itching a certain spot on my heart.
So I started thinking practically about how I mother. Much of how I mother comes from how I was mothered (bless my mother's soul, I owe so much to her), but there is also so much (heavy sigh, so much) that is different in the world while I am embarking on this same journey. I wondered if I could possibly offer any valuable insight or information to other mothers. Because, let's be honest there's a bajillion mom-blogs out there and you probably don't need another one of those to read.
As I would say to my friend Jina, high five for new experiences; if none of this helps you, find a different mom blog, but if it does, praise Jesus.
look ahead of you, not beside you
Facebook can be a good thing, but it is a thorn in every mother's side. Why? Because you are constantly comparing yourself to every other mother in your news feed. We have to get our faces away from the screens in our lives and onto the children at our feet. God gave you the child(ren) you have, He has entrusted them to you, so trust Him. He gives better feedback, and no amount of likes will ever compare to how much He loves you.
laugh
I'll be really honest, this one is hard. Laughing is critical, though. The reality is you have very little control of what happens during your day, what you do have control of, is how you respond. Will you let the little inconsistencies drive you crazy, or let the constant mess get under your skin, or let the disobedience determine your self-worth? Your children are (wait for it.....) children. And they are supposed to be exactly that. If the day becomes too much of an endurance race, I find dance parties are really helpful.
be loved
If you feel that it is difficult to love your kid(s), I'd be willing to bet, you feel unloved. The God of the Universe really did send His only Son to the earth in the form of a baby boy to live a perfect life and die the worst death, then live again so that you and I can have life....because He loves us. He gets so much glory when you will be filled up with His love so you can love your little ones.
and lean....
You are not alone, and you cannot do this mothering thing alone. You need Jesus (I need Jesus). The crazy amazing thing is that He will be enough for you every. single. time. Failure is inevitable, but it does not define you. When you do something wrong, say I'm sorry. Jesus never said life would be easy, what He said was, "I will be with you."
Often, when I read the Old Testament, I am awestruck at how quickly God's people forget what He did for them. But, I find this true of myself far too often, which is why in Psalm 77, David even tells himself, "I will remember the deeds of the Lord...and therefore I will have hope." So when you wake up to the sound of a baby crying or a toddler whining or a child begging for breakfast, remember what the Lord has done.
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