a fabulous day

When the person you love celebrating with most is gone, it's sometimes hard to be excited about certain things...like your birthday. Mine was the 15th of this month and I have to say I have some great friends (and family) that made it a fabulous day. Strangely, it started with cleaning up Ronin's puke at 5am, but because I was up, I signed on to MSN Messenger and was quickly greeted by Kevin--a wonderful birthday morning. I had dinner with friends who made every effort to make it a special occasion and it was!

there's no escape

No matter how fast or slow you're taking this journey called life, the blows come just as hard. So what do you do when these devasting hits come (and sometimes keep coming)? Numb the pain, ignore the aching of your heart, weep until your eyes are dry?

We just walked out of the movie theater having watched Prince Caspian and a friend received terrible news of the death of a child she once babysat. It was a shock to say the very least. Life is made up of these things of deep deep sorrow and inexpressible joy, how do we move from one to the other? How--in the moments of agony, do we remember the sweet memories?

I think there is One great example of this, "...Jesus, author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him, endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God" (Hebrews 12:2) This is the most devastating hit possible, and for the joy set before Him, He endured. It was Lewis who said, "if we have desires that cannot be fulfilled by anything on this earth, it can only mean one thing: we were meant for someplace else."

We will ache, we will hurt for those we love, because of those we love, and sometimes even by those we love, but there is a promise of something far greater than this. A Scottish preacher once said, "Yes, He will send you out like lambs amongst wolves. Why? Because the Lion is padding softly beside you."

dinner time with two little boys

Ronin tries to imitate Davis all the time, no matter what he does. This can be a really good thing or it can be pretty frustrating. Right now, Davis is in this stage (and it may last forever--he is a boy) where he likes to growl, and sing hardcore style. So sometimes, this is what we experience at dinner:

1st trip to the zoo this season

Sorry, I forgot to rotate this one, this was Ronin's first trip to the zoo, and he enjoyed it.
The giraffes are one of my favorite things at the Cheyenne Mountain Zoo, because of how close you can get!
Davis has just fed this giraffe and had his hand licked, hence the big smile on his face!

In Colorado, you're lucky if you get Spring at all; today felt like the beginning of summer, so we took the opportunity to go to the zoo. It was great, Davis fed the giraffes, Ronin laughed at the gorillas, and the lion was out resting in all his glory!

i love C.S. Lewis

In case you weren't aware, C.S. Lewis is probably my favorite author, and not just for The Chronicles of Narnia (the book series he is well-known for). I bought a book for a friend today by him and thought I would thumb through it before I sent it off. As I am each time I have read a book of his, I was amazed at the honesty and clarity with which he writes. So I thought I would share a couple quotes:

One never meets just Cancer, or War, or Unhappiness (or Happiness). One only meets each hour or moment that comes. All manner of ups and downs. Many bad spots in our best times, many good ones in our worst. One never gets the total impact of what we call 'the thing itself.' But we call it wrongly. The thing itself is simply all these ups and downs: the rest is a name or an idea. (from A Grief Observed)

~This statment resonated with such clarity for me. It is so true; for me it is "Deployment" I am not meeting in its entirety, but in "all manner of ups and downs." I am experiencing it daily (and that for ten more months) and not all at once. For that I am truly grateful, though at times I attempt to fathom or endure the thought of the total impact it is far better that it
comes in moments.

Only a real risk tests the reality of a belief. (also from A Grief Observed)

fun at Burger King

Coming soon: Ironman
Ronin is laughing at Davis in his Ironman sunglasses
Doesn't he look regal?
He can't quite figure out how to put it on his head.

good for morale? i doubt it

I subscribe to a military newsletter that I rarely read, but sometimes the headlines catch my attention and I'll check out the full article. This happened a couple days ago. The headline read, "Porn Ban Might be Bad for Morale," I seriously could not believe the words I read. My curiosity was definitely piqued, and I had to read the whole article (click on the link to read). Apparently they are re-evaluating what content is deemed sexually explicit, therefore more magazines are being considered inappropiate. It was depressing to read the quotes from soldiers, to realize that pornography is the norm not the exception when at war. While using porn may offer a temporary relief for some, it also has a very likely possibility of bringing difficulty to the marriage relationship upon their return home. So, is the porn ban bad for morale? I'll let you be the judge.

Bush shows Presidential appreciation

I just received an email from a friend about Bush's declaration that today (May 9, 2008) is Military Spouse Day. Pretty impressive. However, my friend thinks he's just trying to kiss up before he leaves office. Either way, it's nice to be recognized. You can check out the full statement and other information here.

de-segmenting my life

I just read an article by a guy I know from Lubbock, TX, you can read it here. He brings up several great points, but one in particular provoked my thoughts (it's the third observation, if you read the article). Why is it we as Christians think that we have to live in defined spheres of people, i.e. school/work, friends/folks with common interests, church people? Is the true definition of community when these different worlds we live in collide, or maybe a better word would be fuse? If that happens (true community) living our life as we walk with Jesus would look drastically different---it would look like Life. Regular day-to-day stuff with people who are genuinely seeking to glorify God with their entire beings, and those that aren't would see that Christians are real people too, with the only honest difference being Jesus (the Christ). And that difference would be real enough, joyous enough to visibly see. I think I need to think about this a bit more, but thanks Drew for your thoughts and observations (and admitting there are no easy answers).

one strong baby

In the past week or so, Ronin has learned how to throw a ball (and other toys). He gets excited when he sees a ball, particularly the one in this video that he got for his birthday (early present). The crazy thing is how strong he is, seriously, he doesn't know his own strength. He once moved a completely full trashcan across the kitchen floor, pulled out a chunk of Davis' hair, and several other things that show he has no idea the power behind his little hands.

being a boy

Wish I could say that those are shorts, but they're his boxer briefs (gotta be like Daddy, down to the undies)! We got home from soccer practice and it was really rainy today so his wind-pants were really wet around the bottom; he took them off and left them at the door, and wasn't bothered at all that he was in undies, shinguards, and soccer socks. Feels like he just keeps getting bigger and bigger, but then again I guess that is what kids do.

for the record

We have completed five months of this tour and have ten to go. 302 days left, but who's counting?

cleaning the closet

When Kevin left for Iraq, I just made a pile of his things in our closet. That pile has not moved until today. A friend came over a couple months ago who had not seen our place so I was giving the grand tour. I blurted out that I hadn't cleaned up the pile because somehow it made me feel like Kevin was still here. That time has definitely passed, but the pile remained. Yesterday I finally made the decision that I did need to clean it up, and today I washed the load of laundry that emerged from the pile. While filling up the washer I realized just how quickly big people clothes can fill it up (I haven't washed a load of strictly adult clothing in five months).